take my hand tonight.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:02:45 GMT

new username.
xburningup
add it if you want, i'll add you back.

since you've been gone, i'm not the same.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:33:04 GMT

so many nights. legs tangled tight.
wrap me up in a dream with you.
close up these eyes. try not to cry.
all i've got to pull me through is memories of you.

everyone told me that time would help me feel better.
it's been two weeks, and i'm feeling worse and worse everday. i don't know how to do this.

there's so many things i wanted to do
so many things i wanted to say,
and i guess now i'll never get the chance.

worst of all..no matter what he says,
i know that it's all my fault.

i don't even know what to do with myself now that i don't have him anymore.
i never realized that he really was everything to me.
i had forgotten how lonely it gets sitting at home by myself.
because we were always together.

a few days ago i had a dream that he had broken up with me.
i woke up crying and was like, "thank god that was just a dream."
and then i remembered.
it's not a fucking dream.
it's a fucking nightmare.

"you never know what you got til it's gone."
i never realized how fucking true that is.

one year. four months. six days.

Tue, 15 May 2007 22:54:00 GMT

"you know those moments when you're lying next to someone, and you can hear their heartbeat? you can feel the warmth of their bare skin against yours. their eyes smile when they look at you. and then, you suddenly remember that, one day this person's heart will stop beating. the warmth of their skin will grow cold, and their eyes will never smile or lookat you again. and when you realize this, you just wish that moment would last forever, and that you'd never have to let go."

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 06:43:43 GMT

1. Who is the next person you'll hold hands with?
alec. (:

2. Do you sleep with the TV on?
sometimes when i take naps.
but other than that, no, because it always wakes me up really early in the morning on weekends and such.

3. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
chocolate milk yes. i hate white milk.

4. What did you do today?
woke up, school, came home, computer, cleaned my room, went and picked up alec, came back home and we hung out, then 2 bit bandit, then the movies, taco bell, and home.

5. Do you think you're old?
lol noo.

6. How fast can you type?
fast.

7. Are you afraid of the dark?
noo not anymore,

8. Eye color:
hazel.

9. Do you like your life right now?
for the most part, yes.

10. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
a few days ago i took a bubble bathh.

11. Do you knock on wood?
noo.

12. Are you drinking anything right now?
vault.

13. Do you have good vision?
no.

14. Can you hula hoop?
pfft, no.

15. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
i don't know.
probably.

19. What are you thinking about right now?
this song.

20. A movie you watched when you were little?
toy story!

22. What song's in your head right now?
across the universe.

23. What are you doing next week?
i don't really know yet, except in the attic are playing at wired next saturday and i'm def. going.

24. Plans for today?
go to bed soon, then hang out and be bored at my house all day, then showww tonight and hanging out with alec and tiffy.

25. What's your middle name and why?
gayle because it's my mom's middle name and she's stupid like that.

26. Name some places you've gone.
uhh your mom.

27. When was the last time you told someone 'I love you'?
like, 3 seconds ago haha.

29. How are you feeling today?
good i guess.

30. Are you Mexican?
ahaha no.

31. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
noo.

32.Have you ever crawled through a window?
yeah haha.

33. What's for lunch?
brains.

34. Have you ever eaten dog food?
dog treats when i was really little.

35. Can you handle the truth?
probably not.

36. What did you do yesterday?
school, and hung out with alec.

37. Buy anything lately?
yeah.

38. Any cool scars?
none of them are really cool haha...

39. Name an old school song you like?
idk.

40. How many kids do you plan on having?
two or three.

41. Do you want to get married?
yes.

42. How often do you talk on the phone?
haha like almost never, unless zach calls me.

43. Do you talk to yourself?
yeah.

44. Is there something you want that you can't have?
no.

45. Name three things about the opposite sex that you first notice.
body hair eyes.

46. How do you feel about the word wawa?
k.

47. Who did you last hug?
alec.

48. Name a fault.
rahrahahhahah.

49. What was the last thing you ate?
taco bell!

50. Something pretty you've seen lately:
umm your face.

51. Last movie watched?
the messengers.
ahahaha wtf birds.

52. What do you want to hear?
the pink spiders.
i'm listening to them. (:

53. What do you want most?
for it to be tonight haha.
and to see alec, and get some sleep.

55. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be?
with alec and/or my friends.

56. What song are you listening to?
it just changed from the pink spiders tooooo
bonus mosh pt 2 by taking back sunday.

57. If you had to be one, would you rather be deaf or blind?
ahhh neither.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 05:37:14 GMT

christmas is really depressing this year.
i don't like it. at all.

mmbop

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 04:16:10 GMT

'yr so beautiful.'

i bought a cool shirt today.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:56:59 GMT

Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.

smile for me daddy

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 13:52:10 GMT

i need new clothes..grr. i hate like 90% of the clothes i have, cause they're like all from my stupid phase in 7th grade and the beginning of 8th grade and gah it all sucks.
=[ i did go shopping yesterday and get some new jewelry and sunglasses and a rly cute headband that i'm excited to wear..
i hope i do something besides sit on my ass today.

i was walking with a ghost

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 08:28:02 GMT

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

everything is making so much sense to me right now.
..i'm weird.

mm.

Tue, 23 May 2006 00:22:19 GMT

new journal.
after tomorrow, everything is going to be different.
i decided i might as well start with a new lj too.
anyhoo.
friends only.